The measurement of maturity is a slice of Turtle Cheesecake

We grew up a bit differently than most children. You see, we  actually liked some vegetables better than candy. we know that may sound odd to most parents. My preferences may have been tied to the fact that my mother kept me on the baby until we was about twenty-eight. As we think about it, people at Gerber does not produce a pureed version of German chocolate cake. 

My candy consumption was also restricted. On Halloween, we would come home from trick or treat, and my mother and we would sit on the floor sorting out for my evening. We will sort them into three piles. In one pile would go the things Mrs. Robertson made. Those who went straight into the trash, because mom was sure that Mrs. Robertson let her fourteen cats walking across the kitchen table. The second pile contained a couple of apples and a small box of raisins. These were considered suitable for me. we were never quite sure what happened to the third pile, the one who had any kind of candy imaginable and popcorn balls. My mother spirited them off to my parents' bedroom, and I've never seen them again. My only taste of candy came when we visited my grandparents a couple. (My other grandparents just tried to give me the buttermilk. We  resent cows to this day.) 

We later learned not to blame my mother for my almost sugar-free upbringing. We now know that somewhere there is a secret school for mothers, where they learn to protect their children from all things with a pleasant taste. We  know this because my wife exhibited the same problem with our son on Halloween that my mother is employed. But my wife has never revealed the exact syllabus of this top-secret school. 

At twenty-nine, just as we was beginning to learn that meat, vegetables and apple juice has different textures in their natural states,  we  discovered the dessert in the form of a gourmet cheesecake. Well, we think it really was not gourmet. It came from a discount food warehouse in a flimsy box with cellophane peep hole that revealed the only attractive part of the product. But to my foot, which was primarily used to light brown meat in almost liquid and thoroughly mashed green beans, it was heavenly. 

Some years later, when we  went through my culinary adolescence, my recreational use of food helped me to realize that the cheesecake does not really taste like cardboard, as my first experience had led me to believe. Furthermore, we  discovered that the cheesecake, the wonder food that actually comes in many different variants. 

Dessert is my reason to live! My favorite way to end a nutritious average of two jars of beef, two jars with mashed peas and pureed apple with cinnamon is a slice of turtle cheesecake. Do not let this news to leak to my mother, but she would just take it to her bedroom. 

Unfortunately we  have not the foggiest idea how to go about actually making a cheesecake. If you have a recipe for one that does not involve using either a mixer or an oven, then let me know. We know how to use a blender, but because we  saw my mom prepare for Thanksgiving turkey a year.